This is the story of my life.
The links above are arranged by my age.
The timeline is pieced together as best as possible. As an event is added, I try to go there in my mind to discover the details that might normally be missed, and attempt to convey them vividly enough for others to have a sense of place. Many events inevitably help to illuminate others, and as work continues, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of abuse I have somehow managed to survive.
Most of the names are changed. The photos are appropriately random images culled from the Web. The accounts of the events, however, are accurate. They include details that may be difficult to for individuals triggered by neglect, and abuse.
I had considered presenting my story from a milder perspective… but decided to write in the same language in which these memories reside in my mind. The content on this site is intended to help me face the realities of my abuse in an effort to finally address the negative effects they have burdened me with. And I’ve already minimized or ignored the details quite thoroughly until now.
As part of the CPTSD recovery process I will, at some point, need to reconnect with the emotional experiences associated with the individual events that make up my life story. I attempt to go there as I document each memory, and have been able to accomplish that integration with varying degrees of success. This is the most difficult part of the process.
Conveying a traumatic experience is the easy bit for me. Processing the emotions that came along with it, usually for the first time, is enormously taxing. I’ve discovered that the work on this section constantly triggers me.